I slipped away - being honest and determined

When I start slipping away from my goals I slip away from writing about it. I think writing here when I go through those times would help me to get back on track. I think I shy away from it, because I am ashamed. But here I am again time after time of slipping away, I am back to begin again.

I like to keep some things to myself. I like to present things a little softer. One big thing I have been avoiding is my weight. Much of the motivation to start this blog is to motivate me to exercise and eat right. I have not being up front about the fact that I want to loose weight. I have said instead said "get healthy". Admitting that I need/want to loose weight is stigmatized in my mind. I don't want to be in the category of every other woman out there who thinks she is fat. I hate that. I have always taken pride in being satisfied with myself. Truth is I am not, but instead of facing that fact I have just avoided it. I want to be more open about my quest to loose weight. With that I want to share with you, something I have not been vocal about, my weight.

To use this blog to be most effective in my journey to Find the Excitement in the Mundane I need to be more consistent about posting. I am going to try this general format: begin with what is mundane provide explanation then end with how I am being determined about finding excitement in it. Additionally I will post what I ate that day and if I did any exercise and my weight and waist (once a week). I want to say that some posts may end up being only a few sentences, but I don't want brevity to prevent me from posting. Even posting a small reflection will help me to stay on track and meet my goals.

Today

Mundane: Accepting I am fat and it is because of the poor choices I take in my diet

Grub: Frootloops, some cookies, panda express bowl veggies and mushroom chicken, sweet raspberry tea, homemade couis couis ground beef cheese pablano peppers, boiled cob corn and broccoli, fresh strawberries in Hershey's chocolate spread

Exercise: Not today

Lbs.: 171 (doctors scale)

Find Excitement: I made this post after months without, which is a sign of progress. The beginning of tracking progress.

"Motivation is hard to come by. It is my motto of the season to find excitement in the mundane. This is the only way I believe I can conjure up some motivation to do all the things I need to do for a better life but don't want to do. It is about convincing myself that I want this. I am not determined, but I want to be. I want to be determined, I want to be consistent. I need to be. All of my goals are nothing without consistency." -Me from previous post