More than Showing Up

Day 3
I got a late start today. I didn't really start doing stuff till 12 or 1 pm. I did not want to get out of bed this morning and wash my face immediately, so I didn't. There is something about me that just has to hit the snooze button like three times before I feel obligated to get out of bed, and even when I finally get out of bed I feel like chillin out in my PJs before I really get anything important done. Maybe I just have to get used to doing those oh-so-necessary morning routine tasks while I still feel like a zombie. I want to throw in my motto here and tell myself, "wake up excited to do the mundane!", but that just does not seem very practical. How bout this: I will dip my toe into the idea of waking up excited to do my routine, and maybe the next day I will have my whole foot in and edventually my whole body - which will be (still in my swimming pool metaphor) like standing in an ice bath, but maybe after many days of getting excited about doing my morning routine right after I wake up I will finally get used to the cool water and start swimming in that pool freely. Then I will be able to wake up ready to wash my face and exercise. All of this is in theory, but hey you have to convince your mind first, and your body will follow.

Today after I stalled for awhile, I finally took a shower and guess what, I did a leg workout after. That was the first time for me to workout in the morning, it was afternoon already but who cares! That was one of my goals to eventually build up to doing exercises both in the morning and night, and I did it! I didn't expect to achieve to that goal so quickly, but now it is a matter of doing it everyday. I also met my goal that I stated yesterday: go beyond the bare minimum and do more than just show up! I am beginning to believe this journaling (or blogging) is truly effective. It may help by making my mind process and develop how I feel and how I want to improve. By reflecting back you automatically asses the strengths and weakness, which allow you to make goals to improve.

Throughout the day I focused on reading and doing the exercises from Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. I became stressed out during the exercises that really challenged you to use the right side of your brain. I had to stop at some point and just breath to release the stress. Maybe I was being too careful, and because I was trying to be exact. I hope I can learn to control that stress; it would be very unfortunate for me to get stressed every time I go to draw.

The highlight of my day was calling a friend I had not talked to in months. I was looking for support or really just someone to console me, because I had received another rejection letter from a college. I had not talked to her in months, because I often withdraw from friends who are long distance due to my insecurities. I think that calling them would not be fruitful, or I think that my friend wouldn't really want to talk to me. I think, "they are so far away what is the point." I am so glad I called though. She was so happy to hear from me, and just talking to her uplifted me. I was all smiles. I realized that my insecurities are usually invalid, and even if they were valid there is benefit in calling a friend just to say that you care about them and that you want to see how they are doing. My desire should be to show my friends that I care about them and miss them, and not worry about if they feel the same way. Even if the only reason for calling a friend is to tell them you care about them, that should be enough. To be able to show you care and love for another person is life's greatest gift, and I hope I always remember that.