Flipped

This past week was better than the last but as the week was ending things got flipped.
I did manage to meet my quota for volunteering. I made it to the morning volunteer work once this week on Wednesday. By the grace of Yahweh it was easier for me to find willing participants. I was supposed to go Thursday morning, but opted not to for the excuse that I was sick the night before. Yep I got sick this week. Wednesday afternoon during my usual nanny job I started having a head ache which got progressively worse as the day continued and finally as the night came I was vomiting. Vomiting is terrible! It may have been from leftover fish I ate, but I have never heard of food sickness starting as a headache. Thankfully I was not scheduled to waitress Wednesday night.

Thursday night I did not sleep. I made use of the time and did some recumbent bike slower higher resistance for 30 minutes. I managed to get one hour before I had to get ready to leave to go to the volunteer meeting. I was still about 7 minutes late. I have the tendency to stay in bed until the "OH SHIT I better go now or else" moment. My mood while doing volunteer work on Thursday was better than it was on Wednesday. I was cheerful and confident. The lack of sleep seemed to put me in a better mood. I think that too much sleep can put me in a down mood.

I noticed my appetite was less Friday night. I hardly ate any dinner. I wonder if it is because I did not sleep the night before.

Friday night I went to sleep at my usual time of 12am. I had my alarm set for two separate times, not too early. I was trying to get myself in the habit of waking up earlier because I have to be at work at 7:45am all next week. I somehow slept through all my alarms - I don't even recall hearing them. I finally got out of bed at 1 something and didn't make it to Sabbath service until 2pm - 2 hours late. AND I was still sleepy during the service. So much so I went to my car to take a nap. Even after taking the nap, when I came inside I was still sleepy! What in the world!

Now it is Sunday Morning 7:30am and I was unable to sleep. And I have to work 11 hours waitressing today. :-) I think I will be okay though.   

On the plus side while I was not sleeping I was very productive and had some creative ideas as well as very well needed prayers. I have been lacking in prayer and spiritual activity. But praise Yahweh I finsally had ap 2 way conversation in prayer and also a revelation from Luke ch 1. More on that in my other blog: Walking with Yahushua

waking up

I feel like such a failure. I have missed going to my volunteer work in the morning several times, because I couldn't wake up in time. I even went into work this week an hour late. I have a big problem with not waking up on time. It makes me feel like just quitting everything, all my obligations. But then I would be stuck in the bed all day, days on end. I want to keep my obligations, to keep me out of that depressed state. Is it my medication that makes me so difficult at waking up? Or is it just how I am naturally; Come to think of it even in elementary school I  was hard to wake up. I was often chasing after the bus. I don't know what to do.

Better

My alarm went off at 6am, I brushed it off. Thinking that's too early. My habits show that I prefer to wake up at the last minute and rush to the destination. I really needed to think to myself 6am yay I'm awake for prayer (that is when it starts), but that wasn't on my mind. I woke up with enough time to take a shower eat cereal and make it downtown for volunteering at 9/930. I was surprised at how quickly I made it there. What usually takes an hour took more like 30 minutes, I guess the traffic was less.

I remembered to bring a sandwich with me. It was a leftover one slice of panini, it didn't taste that great but I was happy I had it on me at the volunteer office, because I was hungry. I also brought an apple with me that I left in the car. It was a solid small meal. I actually like the idea of not eating a full meal, because I am already prone to snacking. Sweets are still in the picture, but I am knocking out fast food  and adding fruit :-).

Another gold star goes to me for buying a bag of apples and oranges to keep in my car to add to my variety of granola bars, tuna salad kits, and Campbell's on the go soup hand-helds. I now am fully prepared for any hunger pains when I'm on the go. I have no excuse for fast food. I keep a few in the front, but most of it is in the trunk out of reach. This is also better than keeping it in the house, because I would eat it if it were in the pantry.

YAY! next goal to knock out, waking up 6am for prayer and exercise.

Fast food

Today I did not wake up early for prayer or exercise, but I did wake up so I was on time to my volunteer position. Which I am very happy about considering I stayed awake until 4am. So I had a choice as I was leaving volunteering, eat tuna salad, eat fast food, or rush home and eat some left overs. I choose fast food. I thought I wouldn't have enough time to go home but it prob would have been about the same as fast food. I couldn't eat the tuna salad on the run (while driving), so I was shying away form that. The best thing would have been if I would have remembered to bring my leftovers to eat before I left volunteering. Or at least brought the tuna salad to the office so I could eat it before I got to my car. I need to keep this in mind for Wednesday.
So eating the fast food burger was terrible. It had too much ketchup and the onion rings just tasted like oil. I hardly even ate any of them. I really want to quit fast food completely. I dunno maybe I could allow some flexibility if I'm in a bind to only have grilled chicken or salad from fast food. Its so hard for me to exclude things from my diet.
I really need to buy some fruit and vegetables. I need to always have fruit on me.

Looking back and going forward

I took the time to look back at when I began this post, to refresh the meaning behind it.

Quotes from my first post:

Kindling the Fire of Existence

I am embracing life. I realized that life is what you make of it, and my life right now isn't much. And I am the only one who can make something of my life. It takes effort too. I am ready to embrace that effort - to kindle that fire.

Motivation is hard to come by. It is my motto of the season to find excitement in the mundane. This is the only way I believe I can conjure up some motivation to do all the things I need to do for a better life but don't want to do. It is about convincing myself that I want this. I am not determined, but I want to be. I want to be determined, I want to be consistent. I need to be. All of my goals are nothing without consistency.

My hope is that having this blog I can reflect on my struggles and have a sense of accountability, and maybe one day someone will read this when I have succeeded and I can be an inspiration. My goals are small and simple, but my goal is more about gaining an attitude - the determination and commitment. With determination and commitment I can accomplish any other goal that I may come up with. 

Quoted from my profile:

I am determined to become determined, because determination is what is needed to survive in the life. I need determination to accomplish anything. My story is about gaining the motivation and applying it to my life.

I want to be more frequent about posting. I have not been posting daily, I should at least post weekly. I think I haven't been posting, because I don't want to reveal my failures. I should be honest though.

I will try to be better about posting regularly. 

Tomorrow

Tomorrow. My goals wake up 6:00am community prayer, 6:30am exercise 7:30 leave for Atlanta volunteer. Do not eat any desserts/candy. Eat around 5pm, do not eat after work (10pm).

This really needs to be my morning routine, but it is so difficult for me to stick with it. I will try each morning though.

I need to find something to eat at lunch time that is quick and is not fast food. I really need to get in the practice of being food with me. One thing I know I can bring with me is an apple. This will at least take away any hunger until I can get to a meal.

I will let you know how it goes.

Abs Exercise Workout Sheet

These exercises are provided by www.bodybuilding.com which is a great website that give step by step instructions for many exercises and by www.shape.com.

I have condensed them into a few pages with pictures and descriptions of the exercise. This way you don't have to toggle between 10 different websites to look at how to do them.

I picked exercises I thought were easy.

Get the PDF file here.

Diet and Exercise

My mom bought a combination elliptical/recumbent bike. This gives me more motivation to workout. Now a cardio exercise will be much more available. If you don't have that luxury, I would say do jump rope. It is a really good cardio workout and can be done anywhere - perfect for someone who travels. You can watch TV while jumping - it helps keep you distracted from the actual exercise.
You may have heard me mention in posts past about interval training. The experts on Dr. Oz say that is the most effective weight loss. One expert said something like an hour at a jogging pace is equivalent to 15 min of interval training. Interval training is doing a period of high intensity followed by a period of slower/less intensity. Interval training can be done with any type of exercise. I feel like Interval training keeps me more interested in the exercise. Instead of slowly going and watching the clock til it hits 30minutes I am looking at the clock until 1minute has finished of my sprinting and my 2 minutes of slower pace have passed. It also makes me feel good when I am going as fast as I can.
 What works best with my schedule is to workout in the morning, because I usually don't get home until after 10pm. So I bought instant espresso, prepare it the night before and drink it before beginning community prayer at 6am, when prayer ends the caffeine has taken affect and I don't feel like going back to sleep. Prayer ends at 6:30am, it is a big deal to wake me up so I am proud of myself when I make it.
Like today yay!

Diet:
I really need to change how I eat. Since I am on the run I am eating fast food a lot which is bad. I want to try and do the Feeling Good Diet from Food & Mood by Somer (my review of the book here), it has a good bit of fruits and vegetables which I want to incorporate more. The premise of the diet is to prevent mood swings. I am about to outline the diet here. I really hate counting calories, I am not going to be a stickler about this diet like measuring exact fat percents. In the book it talks about working your way up to keeping the full diet.
 
The Basics:
1. eat very little fat, sugar and caffeine
2. Daily consume 3 serv. fruits (at least one high in vitamin C), 4 serv. vegetables (a least 2 serv dark green or orange), 7 serv. whole grain breads and cereals, 3 serv. non-fat milk or yogurt, 1 serv. legumes; 2 serv. fish a week; No more than 2 serv. extra lean meat, chicken, fish, No more than 1 ser. nutritious fatty foods, No more than 2 tablespoons fats/oils, No more than one serv. sweets
3. Evenly disperse calories and nutrients into 5 or 6 mini meals throughout the day
4. Get a variety of nutrients from foods but also supplement with a moderate dos multi-vitiman and other mineral supplements
5. Drink 6 glasses of water daily
There is a separate serving size chart in the book, I don't know if it is comparable with the standard US size.

Today I started off with about a cup Quaker Oatmeal squares with about 1c skim milk. If you have never had this cereal I recommend it for snacking. It has 6g protein and 4g fiber per cup. I also had a grapefruit and 3 cups water. So far I have (2 serv. grains, 1 serv. fruit vit C, 1 serv dairy ) and (3 of water). When I went to the grocery store to buy veggies at the check out I fell for the last min snack in the line. I got snyders honey mustard pretzels (they are soo good!). Those probably count as a (2 serv. grain), even though probably high in fat (and probably sugar too). I was a little hungry and maybe if I choose an apple instead - which I could have just as easily purchased.  I also consciously bought ice cream at the store, I am not quite ready to let go of sweets.
 I tried Veggie Stir-Fry With Ginger and Black Bean Sauce for lunch (see below). It was really good and not too hard. I will simplify the recipe here. I paired it with a left over fish taco with a little rice (1 sev meat/fish 1 serv grain). The whole stir fry which consisted of eggplant, mushrooms, onions, carrots was about a cup, probably about (2 serv of veg). For dinner I ate 3 grilled chicken strips (1 serv meat), one serving is 3 oz see pic-->; to get some more veggs I ate raw carrots and cucumber, is a free food, in ranch dressing (1 serv veg) and drank (2 glasses water). And to finish the night I am having girl scout cookie somoas ice cream! Which I am counting as (1 serv dairy) Sorry I said that and yes it exists.
Sum total of the night:
Meat: 2 Grains:5 Vegg: 3 Dairy: 2 Fruit:1 Water:5


I need to figure out how to eat enough vegetables. Fruits are easier - they don't require preparation and they are naturally sweet. I need to learn how to cook vegetables in a yummy way, maybe a stir fry or roasted. The Food & Mood Cookbook by Somer & Williams has some recipes I should try: Veggie Stir-Fry With Ginger and Black Bean Sauce p212 and Roasted Gingered Vegetables p214, Green Beans and Toasted Slivered Almonds p216, Grilled Vegetables with Garlic and Balsamic Vinaigrette p227. The recipes in the feeling good diet cookbook are like gourmet, but once I get the hang of some of them I can simplify when I don't have specialty ingredients on hand.

"Veggie Stir-Fry with Ginger and Black Bean Sauce" adapted recipe made simple and less fancy This may make enough for 2 family meals but chopp everything up and saved the chopped veggs for making it again
Ingredients in italics
Slice thin: 2 carrots, 1 sweet onion, 1 1/2c mushrooms (not thin or buy sliced) 
Chop coarsely: 2 zucchinis, 1 eggplant 
Heat skillet with a litte olive oil medium/medium high if you didn't chop ahead of time chop carrots first throw them in to cook first while you chop the rest. Add eggplant and mush last
Add 2 cloves garlic minced, 2 tbsp grated fresh ginger
Cook until veggs are tender but crisp
Add black beans (drained&rinsed), soy sauce (a couple tbsp to taste), 1/4tsp red pep flakes, 2 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro, grated orange peel,  taste it you may want to add more grated fresh ginger and minced garlic

Tomorrow is another day. It is about doing it every day.
Writing this blog really does get me more excited about this journey through wellness.  

On the bright side

Yesterday I finished taking the GRE, after studying fervently for many weeks. I actually ended up doing not as good as I did the time before. Never the less, I will have a good attitude about it. I have faith that I will get into grad school and get my LPC (licenced professional counselor). I am not going to worry about it.
I finished that day off with going to work. The night before the boss had a talk with me, expressing some things I need to improve on. I want to show through my work that I can meet her standards. I came into work the next day with a smile and a great attitude. I didn't just stand around I kept myself busy, scrubbing the counters. It was nice to feel like I was doing as scripture reads in Colossians 3:22-25. I will serve my earthly masters as if I am serving the king of the universe, Yahweh. I will do my work with a good attitude and work hard all the time - not only when they are watching. I won't complain when my boss makes me do menial work, to make the place spotless. Yahweh would want his place spotless as well.

Now that I have the GRE behind me I can focus on other goals.

Inspiration from the Elderly

I struggle regularly to keep consistant in my exercise and diet. Lately my methods are to make small goals and try and complete them each day. Today my goal is to wake up early, exercise, and eat no sweets. I have already completed two of those goals :-).

Currently my method of exercise is jump rope. I like it. I feel like the momentum of the rope keeps me motivated to keep going. As you can see from my past post I have tried doing exercises like cruches and puch ups, things of that nature. With those exercises it is always a struggle to keep going. It's a lot easier to watch tv while jumping rope than doing floor exercises too. Being able to watch tv while exercising is also motivating. It keeps me distracted from how tired I am.

I like to keep track of my successes. I have a calendar that I put check marks on the days I meet a goal, and I write what I did. I also have an excel document to keep track of exercises I do. I can later use the information I put in there to create a graph. I also keep track of my weight and the measurement around my belly. Lately the scales have been going up, but I don't want to get discouraged.

I met a elderly lady at work last night. Her name was Sarah. She was 93 years old, still walking, and with a sound mind. She told me about her regular routiene. She wakes up around 6am each day and does exercises. The exercises help her osteo-arthritus. She says every step she takes hurts when she walks, but it is amazing a lady of her years can walk at all. She has never even had a hip replacement. She also has a regular schedule for cleaning. Each day of the week has a differnt cleaning task. She is now living with her son, and she says she wants to clean the house to contribute. I also am living rent free with my parents. I need to do regular cleaning for them as well. She is such an inspiration to me. I need to wake up early, do exercises, and clean regularly too. While talking to her I realized also that I need to wake up early and do my exercises, so I am tiried at the end of the day. I often have insomnia, but if I have that schedule, then it will help me get to sleep at night. If a lady of her age can do all that, then I need to as well. I am lazy compared to her. I need to step up my game and get active!